h0me lullaby ! ~

h0me lullaby again ! :)

its been 3 m0nths i havent written in dis bl0g .. huhu .. bz l0rh ..

hey, u knw wut ? i g0t l0ts 0f st0ries t0 tell y0u guys .. like really a l0t! ngee ~ but i wnt t0 mke it a surprise, s0 lets just wait until i finished my spm which is a m0nth away.. grr ! im g0nna spill it 0ut evrything in dis lil bl0g 0f mine .. cant wait! haha .. LOL~

p/s : g0t my f0n alredy , bateri lak mampus .. adeh~ ustaz wt mnde la ngn hnset tu smpai bateri abes .. hurm .. (kind of geram)

kk, dr td lil dem0n lam mind suh g stdy .. s0, im 0ff !
wait til spm !

ch0w ! ^^ hve a nice day!

hyee again

according to the plan, im n0t supp0sed to be back dis week but dunn0 h0w, like my ustaz said, "Allah bukakan pintu hati sy supaya bg awk smua balik". So cute la ustaz Awang! hehe .. actly, im not really into balik kg dis week, cuz ive set my mind dat after trial bru leh blk .. but then, my sis is going to graduate on 13th august n dat left me al0ne unable t0 c0me n see her graduate .. wut saddened me is, all of my fmily members will b there .. but me .. mse tu tgh2 trial .. aisey ~ so, i dcided to g0 h0me dis week t0 j0in da rest 0f da fmily .. all my sis n bro pun ad kt umh .. wah, besh2, hee .. 0n the 0ther hand, i g0t news dat my 0ne 0f da cl0sest auntie juz died a few days ag0 bc0z 0f breast cancer .. it saddens me a lil bit cuz im quite cl0se t0 dat auntie .. i even called her "mi" n her husband as "daddy" .. but her husband already died a few yrs back .. n n0w its her turn t0 face The Creat0r .. Al-Fatihah .. may her s0uls n spirits be am0ng the beriman .. amiiin ~


as f0r me, ive my trial exm started dis wednesday .. kind 0f berdebar .. fuh! dis is sbp trial which is da 1st step to get the biasiswa n a step frwrd to 0verseas studies .. h0pely i can d0 da bes n get great rslts .. i really wanna g0 0versea cuz i wanna mke my umi pr0ud .. but i dunn0 wutda heck c0urse shud i tke .. but i wanna go overc! huhu ~

btw, im currently wtching michael jackson's vid .. suddenly rse nk tgk dia perform live .. besh!
hehe
kk, nk g stdy dh! chow ~

wish me all da bes 4 trial exm k!

luv u!

h0me kjp jerr

frstly, thnx a bunch t0 my sweet sweet fren here, maleng 4 editing my bl0g .. i kind of deserted my bl0g 4 while .. g0t n0 time laa, huhu .. ive alredy plan sumtin t0 write in dis bl0g, but aftr spm .. s0me st0ries, s0me small lil things b0ut me, hee ..

s0, skrng uda dpt rslt mid yr .. s0me imprvemnts .. n I, al0ng wit 0thr 29 frens 0f mine will b prticipating in a perfect sc0re pr0g .. 0nly da t0p 30 ranking will attend dis pr0g n im 0ne 0f them .. n acc0rding t0 da tchrs, these 30 students will b da 'fasilitators' t0 0ur 0ther frens aftr da pr0g .. n rite n0w, we hve SUKSES at 0ur scho0l .. i prticipate in ping p0ng n 0f c0z, netball .. 4 netball, we w0n 0ne gme alredy, n g0t 0thr 3 mtches .. 4 ping p0ng, bc0z im 0nly da substitute, i l0st .. im n0t really gud at ping p0ng, haha .. but kind of fun playing it .. cuz i get da chnce t0 play varity 0f gmes .. othr things, erm .. g0ing fine, i think ..

s0 dats it 4 n0w .. bck to scho0l, bebeh!
tke cre!
byee!

cyg my frens alwiz!
mmuahx

recently

k .. here's da st0ry .. im s0o0 relieve dat ive explained h0w i truly feel b0ut da i-alredy-kn0w-secret-admirer .. i t0ld him dat i dun like he's been telling t0 evry0ne dat he likes me .. cuz pe0ple n0w actly mking fun 0f it .. n im getting s0o0 freakingly sick 0f these kind 0f g0ssips .. he ap0l0gized , n i ap0l0gized to0 if ive been hrd 0n him .. he t0lf me h0w i chnged his life aftr he knew me .. n0w dat he kind 0f gud in playing sp0rts n knws a lil bit b0ut s0cializing .. he said dat i taught me all dat stuff .. well i wud say .. gud 4 him even i didnt d0 anything .. in case u didnt knw , he hd dedicated a s0ng t0 me 0n tchrs day .. which ws fr0m scrt admirer t0 sal .. erghh! all da pe0ple in da scho0l knew b0ut it .. ! im s0ry t0 say dis wrd but it actly ann0ys me .. a l0t! s0 .. juz st0p! n thnkfully, he n0w undrstnds dat we're juz g0nna b frens .. n0tim m0re, n0tim less .. gud! fine!

n recently .. a gud fren 0f mine juz sddnly spill 0ut h0w he truly feels b0ut me .. i didnt tke it sri0usly b0ut it cuz he alredy has a gf dat luvs him s0o much .. they hve been g0in 0ut 4 like 2 yrs n m0re .. i admit dat i like him bttr than 0ther fren 0f his dat als0 has same feelings twrds me .. but bc0z he alredy hs a gf, i bttr bck 0ff quickly .. he knws dat his fren likes me snce last yr, s0 he als0 stepped 0ut .. but i dun knw h0w, dis yr he has da guts t0 tell me .. but, 0bvi0uly bc0z he alredy hs sum1 bside him , i said dat .. n0, s0ry but i dun wnt t0 b da gurl dat's called "perampas" .. im n0t like dat .. i cnt even think h0w he's willingly t0 d0 dat t0 his gurl .. sy sndiri pn x sggp nk wt gtu ke kwn dia sorg ag yg tggu sjak thn lps lg .. i did ask him, y he's d0in dis .. he said dat da relati0nship he n0w has is n0t g0nna last l0ng .. 0ww i dun h0w his gurl g0nna feels if she hears he said like dat :( hurm .. if he cn d0 dat t0 his gurl, i wndr if he's g0nna d0 da sme t0 me if we're really tgthr .. s0, we're juz g0nna b frens! im s0 pr0ud 0f myself 4 mking it clear .. huhu


huh .. its juz life ..! duh!

preci0us days =]

haa ~ im h0me n im bck again t0 scho0l tmrrw..the war hsnt fnished yet..g0tta fight dis thing! urm..k..h0w am i g0nna start dis thing? urm last thurs, my gang, sd0zen and i went 0ut t0 hve 0ur first reuni0n after i m0ved 0ut fr0m dat scho0l..n i wud say, h0w happy i am t0 see these faces again ! hee ~ =] tenkiu! tenkiu gurls! luv u s0 much!






n ysterday, i went 0ut t0 kbm0l again n invited my sweet2 fren, maleng t0 c0me al0ng, hee .. we did buy s0me cute 0utfits, haha .. gud time babe! tq again! =]
t0 all my fell0w2 frens .. i h0pe u gurls hve a majestice time at naim .. n neva 4get me as i neva let u slip 0ff my mind .. hee ~

luv u !!!! ^^
mmmuahx

something something

My fren said..how im so lucky to choose who i want to be with..all she's saying, im lucky dat i get to choose..hurnm..i think its not because of dat..i mean...i think its becoz im juz not interested..not interested in making special rlationship wit a guy yet..i want to mke it something like 'go wit da flow'..i havent found da one dat i really in love with..im not really into a guy rite now..im juz hard to fall in love..n when or if i fall in love wit sum1, people wont knw bout it..people wont even realize it..how im gud at pretending..haha..n people will think why i choose dat kind of a guy..in so my guys to choose, i choose 'dat kind' of..well, u knw wut, i dun live to see by the appearances..i learn to see the beauty of their characteristics..dats wut values most..n one other thing she said bout me..wut i have is a gift..n i told her, bcoz of dis gift, i cried..bcoz of dis gift, my life is upside down sumtimes..bcoz of dis gift n the values i have, i learn dat the appearances dont promise anything..its the 'inner side' dat shows who u really are..the conditions of my family teach me dat i hve to gain the success b4 i can say or do wut i wnt..in dis fmily, ive become who i am rite now...i understand da fact dat, myb i hve to start from underground..wut i hve accomplished now is wut i do on my own..myb i got hummiliation once in da past days..but look where it got me..like i said, everything happens got me matured in thinking..i tke it dat i hve a stable life..i mean, from my perspectives, i cn see dat i hve equal experiences in each aspects of life..i've experienced little by little in few things..i like how it works...

juz thinking..

One day, my fren n i had a talk..the common thing bout us is, we like to talk n think bout life..when we're together, we become thoughtful..we talk how frens affect our lifestyles..how does it feel to have such tw0-faced frens dat only want popularity..they befriend with us juz bcoz of popularity..how annoying is dat..dis is experienced by my fren..frankly, we're not dat close..but dont knw somehow, we sit at one place n we talk, talk n talk..n she knws every words im bout to say..she knws how i really feel..how i've lost my confidence in making choices..i dont knw wuts right or wrong anymore..after wut happened last year..people see its something simple..but it affects me alot..my self-esteem is low..how i feel so down for the past months..i talk to people bout wut i feel..but they dont really knw how i REALLY FEEL..but i dun blame them..i hve dis fact in my mind dat im all alone in dis thing..dat i hve to go through dis all by myself..every little things dat happened in my life, i tke it as lessons..everything happened last year really open my eyes..i see things in new aspects, in new angles..i have my falls in my life..n dis is one of them..but now im up and running..i have my 'BASE' back..n im so happy for dat..thank GOD for giving me strength back..n i hope dis feeling of gripping my dreams will not go away..cuz i know how it feels to lose ur faith in urself..how i hate my self back then......